"The most significant threat to our national security is our debt," Admiral Michael Mullen, Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff, August 27,2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Coming Events

TheFundamentals has inside sources in the entertainment world. We are committed to bringing early information on these coming TV shows, specials and lecture tours planned by celebrities and politicoes. Here are some of the events:

  • Former Vice President Richard Cheney is releasing his memoirs entitled, Shooting Straight. He has planned several television interviews focused on two important book chapters: The Benefits of Prompt Debt Repayment and Developing Lasting Friendships in the Islamic Community. 
  • Bill Clinton, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton advise corporations about finding real value in corporate giving programs and avoiding scams from foundations and 501(c)(3) front organizations which extort donations. 
  • Madonna gives advice on raising children to be modest and low key. She will also address the proper place for humility on the stage.  Ticket prices start at $500.00 for balcony seats; matinee shows.
  • Johnny Edwards gives advice on how to combine personal injury legal work, running for office and being there for your family members in their time of need.  John will also address the techniques he has developed for building strong, loyal and open relationships with staff members.
  • George W. Bush explains the value of prudent personal financial responsibility with an emphasis on living within your income.  Location to be announced.
  • Oprah initiates an advice column on taking off the pounds and keeping them off. Oprah will also circulate a petition on her website seeking your signature and support of substantial revisions to the national government guidelines for determining obesity. Click on http://www.bodymassindahood.com/     
  • Jenny Sanford and Elizabeth Edwards explain how best to find your soul mate and how best to keep the passion flames burning.   Both will speak about the importance of privacy in relationships and keeping things "in the family" for the well being of the children.
  • Alan Greenspan and Ben Bernanke will do a one hour PBS special in which they describe, in layman terms, their successful policies for fullfilling the stated missions of the Federal Reserve System which include a strong financial system, regulatory ovesight of banks and a stable US dollar.  Greenspan will also share his secrets on "avoiding undue political influence" in setting sensible monetary policy.
  • Mark Sanford and John Edwards team up to provide a dynamic lecture on the power of honesty in marriage and how a life of truthfulness can make you a better public servant.
  • Tiger Woods describes the details of keeping the proper balance between a busy schedule; prioritizing your family obligations; fulfilling sponsor requirements for high personal ethics; securing your personal communications and meeting fans needs for autographs and personal connection. Time permitting; he will also talk about the importance of quiet, quality time with the family during the holidays.  This press conference may be as early as tomorrow.
  • Barack Obama requests one full hour of prime time TV to explain his tried and tested techniques for building a business, setting measurable goals, evaluating goal accomplishment and managing a growing labor force for effective, competitive output.
  • Michael Jackson’s father, Joe Johnson, will pilot a new TV reality show called, Raising Your Children for Pure Entertainment Value. This show will also be a feeder to a second reality show called, Youthful Performances within the Law.
  • Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire will team up for their new TV reality show: Winning Fair. Winning Fair is going to follow the career of young athletes as they avoid prescription drugs and other enhancement compounds but find legal ways to thwart the progress of their competitors.
  • Newt Gingrich joins Bill Clinton, Mark Sanford and Johnny Edwards in a special onetime only lecture about avoiding the honey pot traps that befall hardworking politicians on the campaign trail and discouraging overtures from overanxious interns. Mr. Sanford will also present his slides on "Flora of the Appalachian Trail."
  • Nancy Pelosi will go on the Home Buying Network to share her beauty secrets on the simple, girl next door look without cosmetics, injections and invasive surgical techniques. 
  • Barney Frank will talk about the value of his commitment to a disciplined diet and strict adherence to a regular workout program. Newt Gingrich intends to join him, schedule permitting.
  • John McCain will share candid thoughts about his commitment to the issue of term limits and the value of not staying too long in any one position with an emphasis on the benefits of early retirement. He will be joined by Robert Byrd of West Virginia who will relate personal anecdotes supporting McCain’s observations.
  • Rahm Emanuel will speak to undergraduate students about political terminology and the proper use of measured language in legislative forums and building consensus. Emanuel has recently added a new section to this lecture focusing on disciplined speech so that one never has to say their sorry for a misspoken word.
  • Bill O’Reilly and Keith Olbermann are teaming up for a four city tour about mutual respect for commentators sharing a different political position from your own. Individually, Keith and Bill tend to share examples of how they developed tolerance in their broadcasting delivery; patience with interviewees and a modest self deprecating approach to their interviewing techniques.
  • The Anheuser Busch Brewing Company will present a symposium of the need for truth in advertising and the value of promoting the features of your product versus silly, mind-numbing caricatures, animal tricks, busty blonds and noisy displays emphasizing brand recall and recognition.

 Watch your entertainment schedule for final details.


NDDillon said...

Very nice. It is always enjoyable to view good satire as an instrument to make a point.

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