Educating Rahm Emanuel

Civics Lesson Plan for Rahm Emanuel, recent transfer from Washington DC and new mayor of Chicago – Fall 2012 

Lesson one:   It is not that Karen Lewis and her friends in the AFL-CIO; SEIU, AFSCME and the local police and firemen’s union don’t like you.  It is not that they think they cannot work with you.  These are not their real feelings.  Not their real objectives.  You see, they live in a world of great expectation and entitlement based on having been given the company store for decades.  The previous store manager – a somewhat diminutive man like you handed them the daily receipts.  He even mortgaged some of the store assets.  He learned this behavior at his father’s knee.  He actually sold some of the stores assets – earning assets – things that he didn’t own – just to keep Karen and her friends peaceful – you know, “on the job.”

Lesson two:  Mr. Mayor don’t take this personally.  It is not about you.  Other than this one little fact.  You wanted the job even though the store assets have either been sold or mortgaged; all the store receipts are accounted for and go to the gang listed above and, this is the real kicker, all future receipts are also earmarked for the CTU, the SEIU, AFSCME and the AFL-CIO.

Lesson three:  It’s tough to be boss when you don’t have any control over the money, isn’t it?  Heck it’s tough to be boss when it turns out you’re just the paymaster.  Accept the fact that you are their paymaster.

Lesson four:  So, here’s what you can do – even though it will not quite fit into that vision you have of yourself.  You go along to get along.  You cave in to the union demands.  You get them everything they want.  You let them run the schools even though, in name only, the principals and the board will be still “on the job.”  And then you do two other things –

Lesson five:   You hire David Axelrod to spin it to make it look like you won, and

 

Lesson six:  You beg, pray, campaign for and maybe even cram the ballot box and hope that your good buddy Barry wins one more term and sends you some cash.  They will help you get more cash.  Hint: they like tax increases to get more cash.

Lesson seven:  Your new bosses will stage a few demonstrations and basically, on a small but nevertheless very visible scale, shut down the city.  Perhaps at rush hour.  Clog the downtown streets.  While the police and other unionized city/county employees just stand by.  By the way, Rahm, they may be standing by but they are watching you very closely.  You see Rahm, you are a union pawn – bought and paid for by Karen Lewis and her friends.  Get used to it.  We all learn to adapt.  Even to being the public employee unions bitch.  That’s really all these lessons aim for – helping you adapt to your new job.  They will even make you their top bitch.  Your initiation is underway.