Michigan Rx

This essay is a followup to the posting dated April 28, 2009 entitled "State of Michigan R.I.P."

Readers have commented that the state of Michigan is on a big time advertising campaign to get visitors to visit and business to relocate. These ads are a waste of money. The prescription to heal the self imposed destruction of the health (employment, income and growth) of this once fine state is spelled out below:

The State of Michigan announces that it has adopted the following rules and laws for all businesses operating in the state:

1. No income tax for five years; 2% for the next five years and 3% for the next ten years.
2. No unemployment insurance premiums for five years; 1% for the next five years and 2% maximum for the next ten years.
3. Right to work state guaranteed for twenty years.
4. Property taxes capped at 1% of assessed value for twenty years.
5. Tort law reforms enacted limiting all non economic damages to $500.00 per person per lifetime. All legal and court costs to be borne by losing party to any law suit.

The State of Michigan announces that it has adopted the following laws and rules for all politicians and city/county/municipal and state employees:

1. All pension plans have been converted to defined contribution plans. Employer contributions to such plans shall be limited to 3% of each participant's annual compensation, up to $20,000.00 compensation per annum (Note to Harvard graduates - that's a maximum of $600.00 per employee per year.)
2. Term limits apply to all state and city/county/municipal elected positions. No one can occupy any one office for more than five years or any combination of offices for more than ten years.
3. No state/city/county/municipal employee may belong to or seek membership in any union.
4. No elected or employed individual may solicit any monies to campaign for any office in the state. Each publication, TV station and other media outlet will provide any candidate (subject to above term limits) with 5% of the vote in the previous election (or signatures from 5% of the voters in the previous election) for the position sought with free access to their media for a minimum of 5, ten minute presentations (or the print equivalent) in the 30 days preceding an election. Any payments of cash or goods/services to any candidate or elected individual will be deemed a bribe and both the giving and receiving parties shall be jailed for no less than one year at hard labor and pay a fine of no less than 3X the amount involved. Hard labor inmates are billed for room and board expenses.
5. Any person receiving a paycheck from any tax funded entity in the state shall be subject to termination without cause at any time. Any such person may be held responsible for personal damages equal to all monies paid them if they are negligent in performing their duties, cause injury or damages to any taxpayer through their negligence or are convicted of any crime while so employed. Here's the simple concept: If you work for the people, you will work hard, be pleasant and responsive to the people and keep your nose clean. Otherwise, you're gone.

To the citizens of the State of Michigan. This state seeks to be a haven for responsible individuals. Accordingly:

1. No welfare payments of any kind will be made within the state. If you don't have enough to live, you have three choices:

• Leave the state. The State of Michigan recommends the following destinations: IL, NY, MA, CA and VT. One way bus tickets will be provided.
• Visit your local church, Salvation Army or Democratic Party headquarters and seek a handout.
• If you have valid medical reasons, you may apply to become a ward of the state.

2. You can own a gun and use it to protect your person, family and possessions from any threats. Any other use of the gun will result in a minimum 5 year prison sentence at hard labor (10 hours per day; six days per week) and you will be billed for your room and board expenses.

3. There is no such thing as a hate crime in this state. There are no protected or coddled groups or classes of people in this state. A crime is a crime and you will be punished severely for any criminal activities.

4. Unemployment benefits paid by the state will be limited to 60 days after 5 full years of employment.