Don’t Go Messin’ with the Lone Ranger

Hollywood has dropped a bomb – in the new movie just out:  The Lone Ranger.  This essay is a simple thank you to all who haven’t gone and will not go to see this horrible remake/disassembly of one of America’s great heroes.

Before we continue, we would like to cite as our authority in this movie critic realm the lyrics from Jim Croce’s great song – You Don’t Mess Around With Jim  ---

“You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim”

You also don’t make a movie about the Lone Ranger and put a mopey Hollywood weenie in the roll of Tonto and have him making bad jokes at the Lone Ranger’s expense.  Not unless you’ve got a lot of money to waste  (tee-hee-hee.)

If they lose $100 million on the movie – great.  $200 million would even be better.

TheFundamentals admires the Lone Ranger and we have brought you past columns about this great American hero (see:  http://thefundamentalsus.blogspot.com/2011/10/basic-values-lone-ranger.html )

Why is the Lone Ranger a hero?

·         Integrity

·         Compassion

·         Honesty

·         Law abiding

·         Fair

·         Humble (this character trait alone explains why Hollywood was out of their league)

·         Non violent – the worse you ever saw from both LR and Tonto was a good punch to the jaw or a bullet to the gun hand

·         Respect for women

·         Concern about children

Who in the world would even consider messin’ with the Lone Ranger?   Only fools and America has a monopoly on them in a small outpost in southern California named Hollywood.  Reread the list above and ask yourself, “Which of these characteristics reminds me of Hollywood?”  Think about it, the Lone Ranger is everything that Hollywood is not.

Here is how top cartoonist Henry Payne sees it:

 

And just the other day: