Have We Got an Investment for You?

Here is the opportunity –

Risk free, never in history has anyone lost one cent investing in these investments –

Three options:

            Option one – one year – guaranteed return of your capital plus .14%.  Yes, that is correct.  You get your money back in one year and, let’s say you invest $1,000.00, you also get $1.40 of interest* (which will not even pay the taxes on a pack of cigarettes)

            Option two – ten years – guaranteed return of your capital plus 2.00% annual return.  So, let’s say you invest $1,000.00 – you will get an interest check of $20.00 each year for the next 10 years and then you will get all your money back – 10 years from now.  If you did this 10 years ago, inflation would have rendered your $1,000.00 to be worth $798.00.

            Option three – thirty years – guaranteed return of your capital plus 3.2% annual return.   Just think, instead of receiving a paltry $20.00 each year for 10 years, if you commit you money for 30 years, this investment will give you the much larger return in the form of an annual interest payment of $32.00.  Oh, be still my heart.  In case you’re wondering – 30 years renders your one grand worth about $383.00.  Just gotta love those boys at the fed, huh?

Who is the lender willing to offer such magnificent returns for you investment dollars?

Who could possibly have the gall; er, we mean the chutzpah; er, we mean the naiveté; er, we mean the cheapness to offer anyone returns of pennies – or maybe a few dollars for an investment going out 10 or even 30 years? 

No one wants to buy this crap – to put a not so fine edge on it.  You’d have to be certifiably nuts to buy this crap.  Or, in case you still believe that Uncle Sam is your fairy godmother and the Easter bunny and Santa Claus – you must be a democrat.   Are you democrats lining up to buy this investment?

So, who is buying US government bonds, bills and notes with these minuscule rates of return?

Three guesses – first two don’t count.  No, Bill and Hillary are not buying them.  Unless they’re nuts.  No Michelle and Barry are not buying them, ditto.  (Extra credit – no little Timmy and Janet Napolitano and Leon Panetta (aka Mr. Bureaucrat) are not buying them, ditto/ditto.)  No one with a functioning brain cell left would touch this crap.  So who buys it?

Last guess – think the man with the golden touch – the Midas touch – the fellow who knows all – sees all – computes all – models all – and then buys this crap with someone else’s dough.  Pretty courageous isn’t it?  Not with his dough but with someone else’s dough.  And he buys trillions of dollars of this crap. 

So what to do now that you know who buys this crap?  Oops, we didn’t name the buyer we got so excited describing him – he is the man with the plan – none other than Barry Obama’s, aka Mr. Debt’s, man with the dough – helicopter Ben Bernanke.

Fast forward to today – Ben owns $3 trillion of this crap and – you will not  believe what we are about to tell you – Ben is buying more – a lot more - $80 billion each month – he wants to buy at least one more trillion this year alone.

Certifiable?  Schizoid?  Insane?  Nutso?  You tell us?  We wouldn’t touch this crap with our worst enemy’s money. 

But let’s stay focused.  Ben must dump this crap soon.  Sell it to someone.  Who will buy this crap?  Will anyone ask Ben that question?  Nope.  Will anyone think that these low rates can last?  Ask Ben that.  Will you?  Nope.   So what is Ben going to do?  We’ll tell you what he is going to do – he is about to bankrupt the Federal Reserve Bank.  Or print more money to pretend that he didn’t.

Bernie Madoff and Ben Bernanke – two peas in a pod.  Boy they sure had a good thing going for a while didn’t they?  As they say in some circles – such a deal.

 

*In case you were wondering, your thousand bucks would have been worth $984.00 when you got it back after one year – and that’s if you buy the government’s inflation numbers.